Tuesday, August 31, 2010
eeks!
im at home now! :D
attended C ytd...
fever. :x LOL!
siann-ed
sumthing i miss about myself is my hair.
i want it to grow faster lehs.
its kinda very slow...
going back tonite!!
hmmm things are definetely troubling me.
but haish i dunno what they are and who to tell.
field camp is over already! yay for that!
field camp really tells u everything about people's personality.
serious.
its de times when u see ur true frens.(:
see people who cant cope under stress.
etc.
feelings start to show.
mostly sucky feelings & yes they all landed up on me.
cuz im a man... no choice eh.
even though they say oh i dun mean it when they scold u.
deep down its how they feel. if not why wuld it ever show in de 1st place.
wad a load of crap.
2 more weeks to POP!
OMG ..
rumours spreading round that im into sum unit that i dun desire.
haish.
):
i expressed my interests.
but...
nvm.
i wanna stay within a dream and dun come out again! D:
♥4:37 PM
Saturday, August 21, 2010
oh next week will be field camp.
im sick and uite terribly also.
blocked nose until arghh.
):
needa get medicine lo... haish.
stressed~ not cuz of army but cuz of other stuff.
things arent that smooth-sailing.
thats all u can say...
i dunno how to react. -.-
this week was slack but... no comments.
im looking up at de dark nite sky now.
same as always when im back home.
tonite's sky looks darker.gloomier than what its suppossed to be. ):
feeling downright low.
emo.
superbly.
crys...
even eating so much ice cream doesnt cheer me up
sugar aint working anymore.
where can i find happiness.
i need just a glimpse of it.
just to remind myself how does it feel like again.
nothing in me seems to be having a bit of happy...
things are complicated.
why cant it be simple.
♥11:01 PM
Sunday, August 15, 2010
how can i describe my feeling now...
emo!!
dunno why suddenly so depressed.
siighs
tinking bout de future aint sumthing i wanna be looking forward to
haish...
& maybe cuz im listening to an emo-ish song bahs thats why lorr
):
de 5th week gone.
another 4 more weeks.
to be a full-fledged MP.
de orange brassard lerhs.
hmm~ wondering where i will be posted to.
learning about de wartime stuff.
wonders whether iever gonna use it.
never.
....
feeling kinda crappy when this week aint gonna be good.
haish. D:
next next week field camp le.
owww~!
worrying about my education...
):
i dun wanna face reality
i wanna be dreaming forever!
can that ever happen.
thats maybe too big a wish...
♥12:10 PM
Friday, August 13, 2010
never deny the true feelings of your heart.
do not doubt it for it may be the most
regretful thing you have ever done.
♥11:23 PM
Sunday, August 01, 2010
...
1 more hour and back to camp i go.
i dun feel that sad anymore.
yet that feeling of a huge burden in my heart
still lingers...
something heavy
haish.
last time when i look up into the nite sky.
i ponder deeply think hard & relax but always feel even more emo.
now.
i stare up straight.i dun get that feeling i once had.
i miss that feeling.
that lonely part...
my imagination... visions... were gone.
i hope that isnt long.
for i wish that the next time i look at the stars.
i would feel once more.
everynite i would tink...
whenever i tink too much
tears would start swelling up
not in my eyes but my heart.
i want to cry it all out.
but that isnt gonna help.
but just a temporary relief....
i dunno what im battling against.
i dunno why im so depressed for.
but i feel sad & lonely.
life in camp is fine as usual.
with the schedule all tightly packed.
there is no time for rest.
everything is so important.
but then i tink...
how would that help me next time.
...
it wouldnt.and yet.i have to be learning it.
having guard duty on national day isnt helping either.
haish.
ooo
just met up with vian ytd...
i just realized that in a blink of an eye.
6 months just passed.
and she's reaching her prelims soon.
....
even before i knew.
1 year is gonna pass by.
year by year.
things are passing by so fast.
too fast for me.
the future...
i dun want it to reach me too fast!
im not ready!
NOOO!
im not...
last nite i had this very weird dream.
i was with this person(cant remember who was it).
i was in another country.(cant remember either).
...
i was struggling hard. very very hard!
i was super late for the airplane back to s'pore.
we reached the check-in counter 1 min before departure.
i was beggin the staff to lemme check in!
cuz the next plane back wuld be too late.
too late for a very important event (which i cant remember)
this dream felt so real....
currently reading a book by de singaporean author
its very touching & addictive.
ooo.
bringing it to camp to read.
its gonna make me sad again! D:
& in that book it wrote.
as long there is love, there will be hope.
its meaningful.
but i tink i've given up hope on love.
♥8:35 PM
