...
1 more hour and back to camp i go.
i dun feel that sad anymore.
yet that feeling of a huge burden in my heart
still lingers...
something heavy
haish.
last time when i look up into the nite sky.
i ponder deeply think hard & relax but always feel even more emo.
now.
i stare up straight.i dun get that feeling i once had.
i miss that feeling.
that lonely part...
my imagination... visions... were gone.
i hope that isnt long.
for i wish that the next time i look at the stars.
i would feel once more.
everynite i would tink...
whenever i tink too much
tears would start swelling up
not in my eyes but my heart.
i want to cry it all out.
but that isnt gonna help.
but just a temporary relief....
i dunno what im battling against.
i dunno why im so depressed for.
but i feel sad & lonely.
life in camp is fine as usual.
with the schedule all tightly packed.
there is no time for rest.
everything is so important.
but then i tink...
how would that help me next time.
...
it wouldnt.and yet.i have to be learning it.
having guard duty on national day isnt helping either.
haish.
ooo
just met up with vian ytd...
i just realized that in a blink of an eye.
6 months just passed.
and she's reaching her prelims soon.
....
even before i knew.
1 year is gonna pass by.
year by year.
things are passing by so fast.
too fast for me.
the future...
i dun want it to reach me too fast!
im not ready!
NOOO!
im not...
last nite i had this very weird dream.
i was with this person(cant remember who was it).
i was in another country.(cant remember either).
...
i was struggling hard. very very hard!
i was super late for the airplane back to s'pore.
we reached the check-in counter 1 min before departure.
i was beggin the staff to lemme check in!
cuz the next plane back wuld be too late.
too late for a very important event (which i cant remember)
this dream felt so real....
currently reading a book by de singaporean author
its very touching & addictive.
ooo.
bringing it to camp to read.
its gonna make me sad again! D:
& in that book it wrote.
as long there is love, there will be hope.
its meaningful.
but i tink i've given up hope on love.
♥8:35 PM
